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You do not belong here.

You have known that as long as you could know anything. 

You do not belong in this house, wrapped in the arms of Mother and Father like wires. Sister like a knife. The names they give you are wrong. Even the one that is closest, the one you’ve come to fit like wearing in once-blistering shoes. 

It is not your name.

But they have the Words to bind you. To spin you up in telephone cables, pin your arms to your sides. Tangle your feet till you fall. The have the tools to make your body heavy, fat, thick and clotted with possessions and expectations.

They love you. They are so very proud of you. 
Don't you want to make them proud?

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Interactive fiction exploring what it is to feel wrong. To neither fit, nor be able to make yourself fit.

And to consider that maybe what they've told you is wrong is simply different. Is belonging somewhere else.

Written for the #NeurodiversityJam, this game is about growing up with brainstuff that wasn't allowed to be real. About what it can feel like to finally begin to accept that it is. That it's a part of you.

It uses the language of make-believe to make the unsafe, safe, and the safe, unsettling.

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Disclosure:

The author knows that the language of this game might be seen as othering. He wants to say that this particular way of seeing has helped him come to accept himself, and how he works. That seeing himself through Other, through Elsewhere, has been the most powerful tool of self acceptance he has found. 

He is a person with various brainstuff, including sensory processing disorder, autism, dyslexia, and synesthesia.

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Buy Now$3.00 USD or more

In order to download this game you must purchase it at or above the minimum price of $3 USD. You will get access to the following files:

PUBLISHED Like Learning to Breathe Underwater.html 489 kB

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To the waters and the wild...

Play for free.

In the spirit of valuing the creative labor of game writing, I am choosing to charge for my games rather than list them as pay what you want.

But more than anything, I want people to be able to play them. So if finances are a barrier, please go ahead and download it for free. 

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Comments

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So I played this in the middle of the night and nearly cried. 

I'm no wordsmith, nothing I could type here would do this justice. 

5 stars, absolutely recommend. 

Buy this, play it, play it with a friend you want to understand.

Feel yourself get yanked back into the kid you were in both the best and worst ways possible.

I was not a good girl. Now I'm not even a girl.

Thank you so much for this review. This game is super close to me, for obvious reasons, and it means a lot to hear it spoke to someone else.


And you’ve inspired me to revisit this, now that I’m not a girl either.

Cheers to not being a girl!

 Seriously though, this was beautiful and I'm going to show it to my partner shortly because this just explains so much of it so well.

I'm gonna read most of it to him cause he's dyslexic, but I'm super excited to share it with him.